So apparently I had been dumped on this earth for some reason. 

I totally can’t imagine it was my own choice, because let’s be real who wants a lifetime subscription to awkward social encounters, your own personal foghorn that goes off every time you say “I’m fine” and people argue over which direction the toilet paper roll should face?

But as I was trying to accommodate as this awkward looking fresh young three year old girl (when looking in the mirror, the only thing I thought, was “wow you’re ugly”), I have the impression on hindsight that I was still lingering between dimensions or something. 

I started to see flashes from scenes that weren’t even there. It was like my brain had tuned into the blooper reel of someone else’s reincarnation cycle.

I’m pretty sure it belonged to a parallel-universe version where edible wallpaper was a thing and immediately had been banned from six parallel timelines.

I must say that, as long as I can remember, I felt insane conscious of myself, life and everything absurd that goes with it. 

Including the part where I over-analyze every conversation I’ve ever had since 1966 and also the ghost that lives in my bathroom mirror.

I’d never considered myself ‘crazy’, but then again I have never been to a psychiatrist to let it judge (and is never going to happen, because who is he to judge), so probably very logical for me to consider myself sane. 

And now I think of it: an internist once told me “you definitely don’t need a psychiatrist and you look totally sane to me”. 

From which at that moment I was not sure to be happy about that or scream my head of, because I dragged along one hundred slightly discutabel health issues with me since I gave birth to my also awkward daughter (she draws and paint realistic portraits with both hands and feet at the same time). 

I remember walking in the hall across my bedroom and as my eyes traveled along the wall and bedroom door, I saw the door was wide open. 

Nothing special about that you would say. Bedrooms have doors and sometimes door are open for people to walk in or out. 

But through that entrance I noticed another environment, a living room and an old man sitting in an old chair being all alone, miserable and I felt this were his last breathes on this earth. I know he passed like that all alone in his chair. 

At that point I’m pretty sure he wasn’t another member of my family, living with us. No granddad, no uncle or homeless person. Not even a pet human. I just knew that. 

At that moment, somehow it felt like the man was me, but I am not sure. I felt all his emotions and it was like I was looking in some kind of portal. 

I kept staring for quite a while because I felt sorry for the old man. Until it faded away and from then on got a place in my brain the rest of my life. 

I have no clue if this might have been a flashback of an earlier life of mine because I know my previous life was another life than the man I saw….. (to be continued).

I never was scared because I was used seeing old creepy men in my bedroom <link> fading away to eternity. 

Today, I help others make sense of those fading figures and reconnect them with loved ones who’ve passed, through down-to-earth no-nonsense spirit readings.